Photo: Rotten Apples
The nineteenth century was the era of the traveling medicine show. Grifters slithered from town to town in rural parts of the country, peddling magical elixirs. John D. Rockefeller’s father was one such. He would show up in a town, put on a little spectacle, sell some bottled cures for cancer and lameness, and then skedaddle off just ahead of the law.
Today, in place of the Snake Oil Salesman, we have the EduPundit.
The EduPundit doesn’t sell magic elixirs. He or she sells Magic Formulas for Learning. Now, how does the Aspiring EduPundit come up with a Magic Formula to sell? Well, that’s the easy part. Magic Formulas are lying around all over the place.
The secret to becoming a well-remunerated EduPundit is to take a blindingly obvious idea–or any idea, really–it can be completely ridiculous–and make it into THE Universal Magic Formula for Learning by giving it a Brand Name. Or, if you are in a hurry, start with the Brand Name and then come up with the Magic Formula based on that. I’ve done some of this work for you. Just choose one item from each of the following lists. Then, string them together. Note: The Brand Name for your Magic Formula doesn’t have to have an item from List Three. Those are optional. And it can have an item from List Four OR List Five OR both.
If you would like the complete Aspiring EduPundit iPhone App for Choosing Your Aspiring EduPundit Brand, which includes many more lists like the one above (Jump Starting Formative Engagement! Jump-Starting Engaging Formatives! Engaging Formative Jump Starting! et cetera) just sign up at our website or write your name on a 12-inch stack of hundred-dollar bills and send them to yours truly. And here’s a tip, absolutely free! Once you have your Brand, express it as an abbreviation. JSFE, EFJS! Because abbreviations, being jargony, sound impressively “in the know.” All scientificy, which is, you know, SUPER scientific. LOL. Wow your friends! Rake in the big bucks! You, too, can become an InstaPundit!!!
Of course, in addition to the Brand Name, you will need a “Key Graphic” or “Concept Map.” This you can very easily create yourself using Smart Art in Microsoft Word. A circle made of three arrows, an idea pyramid, a web—these are all standard. You know the shtick. Remember: In presentations, you must always unveil your inane graphic with great drama, as though it were the Holy of Holies. It is THE REVELATION.
For a copy of our best-selling list of 1001 Catchy Education Acronyms for InstaPundits, visit our website and use Paypal or Bitcoin to remit the $350 InstaPundit Academy materials fee.
2014 update: Be aware that the great river of Edupundit green is now running almost exclusively from the bank accounts of a few Ed Deform Plutocrats and from the coffers of those Plutocrats’ wind-up toys in foundations, think tanks, state departments of education, and the Department for the Privatization and Depersonalization of US Education, formerly the USDE. So, if you want to be a big barker on the educational midway this carnival season, if you want to be invited to speak at conferences, to write professional books for teachers, and to chair committees, if you want to get paid for putting your name on textbooks you didn’t actually write or edit—if you want to be a PLAYAH—you will have to PRACTICE YOUR EQUIVOCATION. Hold your nose and learn to collaborate with Ed Deform, but do so with sufficient finesse that you can deny your collaboration when, inevitably, Ed Deform implodes and others stand ready to identify you as Ed-Deform-collaborating Vichy swine.
For a copy of Equivocating on the Common Core and Standardized Testing for Aspiring EduPundits, sign up for my course at Anyone Can Be an InstaEduPundit dot com.
copyright 2014. Robert D. Shepherd
For more pieces by Bob Shepherd on the topic of Education “Reform,” go here: https://bobshepherdonline.wordpress.com/category/ed-reform/
For more pieces on the teaching of literature and writing, go here: https://bobshepherdonline.wordpress.com/category/teaching-literature-and-writing/