For the Socialism-Curious Only!

Are you Socialism-curious but ashamed to let anyone know the thoughts you’ve been harboring while watching Mitch McConnell loot the treasury to engorge the rich? Then you’ve come to the right place. Act now and we’ll send, for the S-curious only, the complete regulations of the national healthcare and parental leave systems of Denmark, discretely packaged in a brown paper wrapper! The first 25 callers also get, absolutely free, our red T-shirt with Red for Ed stitched on the label, and only you will know it’s there! Wear it with your MAGA hat. Just know that you are not alone. Others have these urges, too! Who knows, maybe that guy next to you at the gun range or the NASCAR rally! Also try in the privacy of your own home our phone foment service! Our bevy of beautiful young comrades will whisper sweet sedition about economic equity and racial justice into your ear and even call you a commie libtard pinko snowflake! Oh, yeah, baby! Sing me a little of that Union Maid song! or Joe Hill!!! Long distance and roaming charges may apply.