Patriotic Noise 2

Submission pursuant to an application for the position of speechwriter for Donald Trump, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, or Ron DeSantis

Murika, land of the
tis of thee,
by jingo by golly
by jingoism,
by the dawn’s eerie
from above,
by crackie,
by cracker,
by crackle!
freedumb de dumb de dumb
Another village saved from thinking!
A tear in the eye as the flag goes by
saved by the Liberty Bell!
mission accomplished,
O land that beats true
for that ole black ‘n’ blue,
for me and you
and all true
ole black Joe
stuck a feather in his
tweedle dumb,
tweedle dee,
so stand your ground,
women for Trump,
while these savings last,
yes, they stole the erection,
but I’ll be home by Christmas,
there’s a war on that
funded by Soros and the teacher’s unions,
indoctrinating our kids with their critical race theory
that leaves dishes in the sink and
turns children transgender
and lord knows what they are doing
with those Jewish space lasers
am I rite?
they dont want you to have hamburgers!
But your donation is a weapon aimed at the heart of Antifa,
protecting our statues, our Truth Social, our Just Us and $1.99 hamburgers!
They wanna take your cows.
Well, I say, no more,
for the business of America is hambugers
and American Cheese food product
all the livelong day, that
gem of the
dancing with the,
hey there with the,
you there with the,
stars in your eyes,
and stripes on your back cause
it’s really the whites who are
discriminated against and
nothing was given to you, rite?
you earned it
you rock, you roll!
you gitter dun
you could grow up to be the next
Glorious Leader Who Shines More Orange Than Does the Sun,
in the sweet buy and bye [call now]
some of my best friends are,
bye, bye blackbird:
buy now, for deals like this won’t last forever,
and see you in Church on Sunday
for your tax-deductible donation
thank you, Jesus,
by golly,
by gee,
by Jim Dandy doodle dandy,

Where our fathers fruited plain.

Everybody sing!

NB: This could also double as the new Kansas, Texas, Ohio, Utah, Flor-uh-duh, or 1776 Project K-12 certified CRT-free History curriculum! You’re welcome, Republicans. Don’t mention it.

Copyright 2021, Robert D. Shepherd. All rights reserved. This post may be distributed as long as it is unedited and this copyright notice is included.

For more ruminations on Donnie Dumbo, loser, go here:

For more humor, go here:


About Bob Shepherd

interests: curriculum design, educational technology, learning, linguistics, hermeneutics, rhetoric, philosophy (Continental philosophy, Existentialism, metaphysics, philosophy of language, philosophy of mind, epistemology, ethics), classical and jazz guitar, poetry, the short story, archaeology and cultural anthropology, history of religion, prehistory, veganism, sustainability, Anglo-Saxon literature and language, systems for emergent quality control, heuristics for innovation
This entry was posted in Humor, Politics, Trump (Don the Con). Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Patriotic Noise 2

  1. Nan Mykel says:

    Good one!…I wish you’d critique my comment on dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nan Mykel says:

    You wrote on a new theory of dreams recently. I commented. Then it seemed your post on the dream theory disappeared as well as my comment. Maybe I’m just in my brain fog.

    Liked by 1 person

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